If you are parenting a foster or adopted child who has been traumatized, you will likely have to deal with lying. Believe it or not, this is true even with the traumatized child who appears to be a compulsive truth-teller. I was one of those children. I would rat myself out at the drop of a hat, so when I lied, I was incredibly convincing.
Most traumatized children are excellent liars. They had to become that way to survive living in an abusive environment. In my case, my abusers killed my dog in front of me and assured me that they would do the same to my younger sister if I ever told anyone about the abuse. So, when a police officer looked me right in the eye and asked me if anyone was hurting me, I was an extremely convincing liar. I had to be – I truly believed that, if I was not a good liar, then my sister would be murdered.
My story might sound extreme, but you would be surprised at how many child abuse survivors have similar stories to share. Killing a beloved pet is a very effective way to silence an abused child, and killing an animal is easy to pull off without getting caught. Other threats are communicated to ensure the child’s silence. For this reason, traumatized children become expert liars.